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What writers can learn from housework

  1. The longer you put the chores / writing off, the harder it’s going to be. (But despite what your Mum / Stephen King said, you don’t have to do it every day.)

  2. Editing is like dusting: it is never ever going to end unless you pay someone else to do it.

  3. In fiction as in homes - the more characters you let in, the bigger the mess you’ll have to tidy up.

  4. Polishing is exactly like polishing: you pledge* to do it thoroughly, but have lost your oomph by the time you get to it. (You can’t see you face in it, but your fingerprints are all over.)

  5. Ah, the Upper Cupboard of Utmost Teetering Chaos! Should you slam the door on it, upon your head it shall soon fall. Same-same thing with an unresolved plot hole.

  6. The best thing your family can do is stay out of the way until you've finished.

  7. Inspiration is like the sock which escaped the laundry. It will turn up if you keep looking for it. In the most unlikely place. And not as a sock.

  8. Some people have learned what all the mysterious hoover nozzles are for, and will explain them to you, along with semi-colons.

  9. Neither housework nor writing burn as many calories as you feel sure they must have.

  10. Outlining is like cleaning behind bookcases – it isn’t strictly necessary, and it’s invisible, but people who do it secretly feel superior.

  11. Writing is like housework. Nobody notices you’ve done it except you, but life is shinier afterwards, and you deserve a glass of wine.

*Other polish puns are available.


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